Sit Down and Shut Up

There is an enemy among us and I do not refer to Al Keida. It is our friend, American business, armed and dangerous with billions of dollars.

“We own America,” they tell us, “and will damn well run it as we please. We bought it fair and square. We own eight of every ten of your representatives. They depend on us and just need your vote which we deliver as needed.”

“Unions? Ha! They are a joke and remain at our mercy as do you.
Wages will be held to our pleasure by the procurement of foreign workers—legal or illegal—always at our pleasure. Taxes? Not a problem. We will rule America from Offshore if need be.”

“You, the amorphous bovine population will kindly remain tuned to Fox News or in attendance at the WorldWideFederation wrestling matches. The public will kindly remain permanently in a state of confusion. We are organized and you ain’t, so there!”

“We are The Way, so please, bear your petty frustrations with fortitude. Our plastic factories are working 24/7 to supply you with the infinite number of pacifying baubles you require. You can decide on the colors. Have no fear: we are your future. Of course America is in a quandary but count on it, we will give the country direction.”

“Your destiny is to work, entertain yourself in simple pleasures and compete. Governance is too difficult for you and better left to the professionals we will supply.”

“Future America will be somewhere between Japan and Mexico: Overcrowded and discontented but docile. Herbs will be big; the new religion out of the orient will be Whing Toy—its true meaning being Eb Deifsitas, Latin for “Be Satisfied”— spelled backwards. If you prefer—Gottes mitt uns. Be happy and be quiet please.” copyright jbr 2006